yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
