did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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