Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
