And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
