I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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