maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
