He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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