Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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