He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
