Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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