it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize