why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
