At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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