is your mom at the bar?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
