I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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