a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
