Is it because I queefed?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
