You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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