The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
