i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
