no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
