White coat. Heels.
just tell him i said nine months
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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