Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize