dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
