i would punch a child for taco bell
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
