when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
