Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I wish you could order shots online.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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