You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
