I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
