I'll bet she douches with gravy.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
