Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
