She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
