I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
