I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
