this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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