U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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