I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
