I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
