what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
