Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I don't think brook has ever known best
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i think i just lost a toe
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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