My brain says no but my pants say off.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
