What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
