So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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