nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize