I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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