For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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