You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize