At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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