I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
