No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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