Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
