Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize