i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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