i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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