idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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