So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
