There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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