Cold hands, warm shart.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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