Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
